Sunday, September 13, 2009

Sinking in the Sand: Facing my insecurities



In general, I'm a pretty confident girl...BUT (and isn't there always a BUT) I have one area of complete insecurity, and for those of you know me well...you already know. I'm one outta shape momma and that just drives me crazy.  My once in shape self went away...


You know, I don't even have to be like Anna Kournikova...I would settle for Jessica Simpson in her infamous "mom jeans".


It's more than my appearance that bothers me though. (don't get me wrong the looks are a PRETTY big deal too...) But it's also the fact that I am not at my physical prime to endure an active lifestyle. Which brings me to this post.

We went to Moab, Utah, recently and stopped at this AWESOME sand hill on the way home to let the kids burn some energy. This is T H E Sandhill. No exaggerating. It's the Father of all sandhills. You know that deep, soft sand where you take a step up and you simply slide back down? That kind of hill.
We were going to climb it as a family, BUT my insecurity on this subject decided to piggy back behind me, clutching tightly around my neck and weighing me down. After a few steps up the hill I didn't think I could shake the insecurity off my back. Negative thoughts poured straight out of my head, telling me I simply could not do this. Fast forward a little while...well, I did it. I climbed the whole hill (to the top!) and shrugged the insecurity away.



The things that hold you back may be different than the things that hold me back. A lot of you could have ran circles around me as I climbed the hill! But what moments in YOUR life do you feel your insecurities bringing you to a STANDSTILL? Do they hold you back from fully enjoying life? Are you living life at less than 100% because you let your insecurities piggy back behind you, choking you? What is the pivotal point in your spirit when you decide to go ahead and take more steps UP the hill instead of turning around in defeat and walking back down with your shoulders slumped?

Be victorious. There are so many beautiful things in this life we are all privileged to enjoy. We are all alive...and you know what? THAT is a big deal, a big happy deal!

Sliding down that sandhill with my three boys and absolutely supportive husband was one of those natural life HIGHS.



The HILL (with my boys on their way up already)

The boys are on the hill and that SUPER HOT guy is my husband

Kotah happily cheering me on

Titus on his way up (his 2nd time!)

And Titus ROLLING down

Cameron Skyler is pretty tired after climbing it 3 times

JUMP! What would a day out be without a photo of Kotah doing something like this??

Chris jumps too...

View from the top...Moab Utah


Shake it off when you can and get after it!

20 comments:

Abby Killam said...

this is my favorite post of yours.... made me choke up a little. We all have so many things that we second guess about ourselves even though we look at other people's lives and think- wow, they are so put together. It is nice to know that everyone feels a little insecure now and then. I too struggle with the physical aspect of my appearance. I am married to a marathon runner and so can never quite get ahead in the area of athletics... on a good day I just try to remember to do the best that I can and to (try) love the way that I look as it is... it is a work in progress. Thanks for the emotional support/uplift today ;o) Great job on your sandhill accomplishment!!!

Greta said...

Lisa, you won my giveaway! Let me know what you want on your glasses and where to send them! Congrats and thanks for visiting!

portatoredichrist said...

You forgot to mention all the other moms that stayed at the bottom of the hill... And the look our our boys faces when you met them at the top. It was a fun hill but would not have meant nearly as much to any of us if we couldn't have shared it with you. Thank you for being a perfect wife to me and a perfect example of strength and determination to our sons. 1610

{Jamie} said...

I completely understand you here! After having my baby almost 11 months later, I am still struggling with my out-of-shapeness! Infact, we had the kids pictures taken this morning and did not want to be in any of them b/c of my insecurities but sucked it up b/c I knew that if I didn't, I would regret it! And I had the BEST time b/c of it! I love this post from you!!! Way to inspire!!!

Nancy said...

This was such an AWESOME post! You are SO beautiful Lisa and such an amazing wife/Mom, that it's a relief to someone like me to know that you have insecurities too! My big thing right now is my face breaks out real bad from the fertility meds I'm taking, so I slather on the make-up and avoid pictures when it happens. It makes me laugh when I remember wanting to ditch High School if I had a pimple -now I get tons and have to go to work anyway!

Tootsie said...

I think I was meant to find your blog because I needed to read this! I am not the most confident girl...not by any means. I have lived a nightmare the last 18 months...and have had my self esteem and all confidence shattered! I have realized something in all of it tho...I AM strong...determined...and very scared...but the stubborn in me is going to hold that scared at bay and keep going forward and I will climb my "sand hill"
oh boy...what if I miss read your post? lol...if I did..delete it please.
I am proud of you for doing that hill...oh..and by the way. I hate sand...it is a regular visitor to my kids shoes..my truck, my house ,vaccuum...and laundry set! lol

chili pepper said...

I have never been to Utah and never seen a sand hill like this. What a cool thing. It sounds like a fun visit for a family, too. Of course, my mom self was thinking of how to get all that sand out of my daughter's long hair after we rolled back down.

I have a horrible, irrational fear of flying. I have had to seek God's comfort each time I have to fly in order to overcome it. I decided that I was not going to miss out on all the fun of life because of it and he has really blessed me. During our last trip we went to St. Kitts and I had to go over water. The Lord gave me such a calm, my husband was in shock at how well the whole flight went for me.

In November I will be flying to Italy alone... really praying on that one these last few months.

I do understand about the weight thing. You are so lovely try to focus on that and work on being healthy...not skinny or a certain size. It will make all the difference in your efforts.

I may have to do a post on my journey in this area when I return from my trip. It is a recurring theme this last week. In short, I highly recommend two books. "Strong Women Stay Thin" by Miriam Nelson and "Master Your Metabolism" by Jillian Michaels.

chili pepper said...

I have never been to Utah and never seen a sand hill like this. What a cool thing. It sounds like a fun visit for a family, too. Of course, my mom self was thinking of how to get all that sand out of my daughter's long hair after we rolled back down.

I have a horrible, irrational fear of flying. I have had to seek God's comfort each time I have to fly in order to overcome it. I decided that I was not going to miss out on all the fun of life because of it and he has really blessed me. During our last trip we went to St. Kitts and I had to go over water. The Lord gave me such a calm, my husband was in shock at how well the whole flight went for me.

In November I will be flying to Italy alone... really praying on that one these last few months.

I do understand about the weight thing. You are so lovely try to focus on that and work on being healthy...not skinny or a certain size. It will make all the difference in your efforts.

I may have to do a post on my journey in this area when I return from my trip. It is a recurring theme this last week. In short, I highly recommend two books. "Strong Women Stay Thin" by Miriam Nelson and "Master Your Metabolism" by Jillian Michaels.

Ranelle Tibbetts said...

I've been reading your blog for a couple of weeks now thanks to a recommendation from the blog, My Favorite Things. I love your musings. So many things pull on me and would want me to fall back, but today's post was a great reminder of the fact that I LIVE! Let that and my love for Christ and my family be what gives me a hand up as I climb my "sand hills." Thanks.

monica said...

Great post! Great pictures. My boys love climbing dirt hills also!! Thansk for stopping by!

tara said...

Oh my goodness that is the biggest hill ever, but I bet rolling down it was pretty fun for your boys! Great post, made me stop and think for a bit, which can be scary...I'll have to get back to you soon on what I came up with...!

Tootsie said...

hey...my pumpkins are posted...and there is a link to you in my post...to tell who shared the originals...hope you don't mind being "outed"!

Molly said...

Great idea for a photo shoot in the sand! Keep up the motivation to get back in shape - it'll happen!

Thanks for commenting on my necklace! Good Luck in the giveaway!

Lisa Shatzer said...

I'm so glad you got the Ballard Designs tote bag. My husband and I have put ourselves on a new strict budget so I have to shop vicariously through others! Ha

As far as feeling out of shape you are 27 years old with three young boys, cut yourself some slack!! :)

It looks like the boys had a ball sliding down the bis sand hill.Bravo to you for making it to the top. Very awesome!

Don't you wish sometimes your kids would share just a 1/4 of their energy with you. I mean they'd still have plenty left over, right!!

Lou Cinda said...

Now, that is ONE HECKUVA HILL!! And quite the accomplishment!! It's HUGE!!

I think you did great!!

Thank you for visiting my blog.

Lou Cinda

Pearl Maple said...

Fabulous post, life should have more fun days like this with everyone enjoying themselves.

Kristin said...

Good for you lady!! And that pic of the boys in the tub? SO precious!

The Mangerchine's said...

Good for you climbing that hill!!! Your boys are precious!!!!

Shannon

Jen V - Flawed and Fabulous Crafts said...

I love this post! How brave of you to put your biggest insecurity out there! YOU ROCK! You have totally inspired my next post - a post about my insecurity...

Congrats on making that climb - I'd love to know exactly where it is - we hit Moab about twice a year - I'll have to challenge myself next time I go...

nannykim said...

cool pics! Reminds me of coming down Mount Fuji in Japan--they had this area where you could just slide on loose stones--fun, fun!!--the fears that hold me back are fears of social interaction with large groups! I have to force myself to go to anything where there are parties--ie weddings, large showers, large picnics...