Monday, February 13, 2012

Why do men stop fighting for us? ...a Valentine love lesson

We are all ready.set.go for February 14th tomorrow.  I bought this set of pencils from Knot and Bow and am giving them to Chris on Valentine's Day.  Just a whimsical reminder letting him know..."what's me without you?"  

 "I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils
if I knew your name and address." 
- You've Got Mail

Tomorrow we will start our day off with traditional pink strawberry milk and end the day with some Xs and Os. 

 breakfast 2011

I have a home sweet home full of BOYS so there aren't any pink hearts or roses to give out to them on February 14th.  We have told the boys often that THIS holiday is more focused on lovers, not as much for kids in our home.  Because of this, we don't go crazy with gifts or activities.  Chris and I keep the focus more on each other than the kids.  They're spoiled enough, I promise.


The closest they get to romantic love right now is when they are playing with LEGO knights and fair maidens.  Sometimes the knight recuses the fair maiden from the dangerous dragon.

The concept of the mighty knight recusing the beautiful fair maiden has become hazy and lost in our modern lives.  But in our deepest hearts, most women desire to have a man who wants her enough to fight for her, to risk it all for her.  And most men want to be their lover's hero and to know their strength is sufficient enough to make their girl feel loved.

So why do our men stop fighting for us?

Lately on Pinterest I've seen a lot of dreamy quotes written by women listing qualities they want their man to possess.  Instead of focusing all effort on how your lover should change and love you more, think about what YOU can do to become irresistible to him.  A lot of energy is wasted (and a lot of love lost) when we constantly pepper him with all the ways we think he should change for us. 

Why do our men stop fighting for us?  There are so many reasons but one reason is that we have forgotten to think about how best to love them and instead we spend too much time trying to convince them to love us better.  Silly girls.  We sit around with our noses up in the air claiming that we deserve more.  Really?  I believe we should turn our hearts inside out and work toward fully loving our men and being the best GIRL we can be instead of selfishly feeding our hearts all these ideals that we believe we deserve.  If we spend half the effort into self improvement as we do into nagging about him and his faults, we will instantly see a complete change in our relationships.  Simple actually.  It's all about that childhood lesson we learned years ago, "don't worry about anybody else, just worry about yourself".  This applies to our relationships.  Be the best girl you can be instead of trying to make a new man outta him! 

Forget about the box of chocolates and candlelit dinner, just be his companion, his best friend, and his biggest fan on a daily basis.  It will rock your world in everyday ways. 

For more on this marriage topic see past post: The Slightly Offensive Marriage List

And for my favorite Valentine Story see past post: A Tale of Two Love Stories 

O Yes you do!
Happy Day of Hearts!

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This post is linked to:   Under the Table & Dreamin, Think Pink Sundays, Seasonal SundaysMet Monday, Making the World Cuter, Tuesday Tutorials and Tips, HOMEWORK: Be Inspired, Tasty Tuesday, Tempt My Tummy, Tip Junkie, Get Your Craft On, DIY Design, Works for Me Wednesday, Blue Cricket Design, Organize and Decorate Everything, Transformation Thursday, House of H, Tablescape Thursday, Show off Your Stuff, Strut Your Stuff, 36th Ave  Show and Share Day, Foodie Friday, Frugal Friday, I'm Lovin It, Tickled Pink, Friday Flair, Design Dazzle, Be Different Act Normal, Funky Junk Interiors, Weekend Wrap Up  DIY by Design  


Kate said...

Bravo Lisa

well said Have a wonderful Valentines Day my friend. Great inspiration I loved every word of it.


Anonymous said...

You nailed it..
No truer words..
Loved the post..

Miller Racing Family said...

Love the quote. We are having a snow day so everyone is going to be home. I think we will have heart pancakes and then I am going to try chocolate covered strawberry waffles for an afternoon treat. Hope you have a fabulous day with your boys.

Unknown said...

Well said!


Leanne said...

So, so true! Happy Valentine's Day to you and your sweet family!

Jane said...

Well said.

You and Chris are such wonderful role models for your boys. Not only are they learning the meaning of love, they are learning how to to share that love with another. One day, your boys will be sharing love with their special soneones...and they will know the true meaning of love...

Sarah said...

Have you read the "Love and Respect" book by Emerson Eggerichs? or attended a conference? My husband and I did last weekend- you are singing his song!

So many times I've got "caught up" in my needs- and how he falls short in meeting them. Last weekend, and your post, really reminded me that it's not all about me! What am I doing to meet his needs? And I realized how selfish I had really become.

So wonderful to read this post!

Elise said...

So true! We can't change our husbands - not for the better. Nagging may get them to change, but they'll resent it. I would. My job is to do what I'm supposed to do... and not worry about him. I so wish I could always remember that!

marissa | Rae Gun Ramblings said...

great post I'd love you to add this to my What We Wore and Made link party


Anonymous said...

Traditional pink strawberry milk look so nice.It also yummy look.I really like this all valentine special creations.Thanx to share with us.

grand rapids lasik

Unknown said...

Great post! I agree, they really start acting closer to what you want when you are acting closer to what they want. Simple really. They're just boys, so that won't take that first step. If you do, they will without even thinking.

Natural-Nesters Sisters' said...

We love this! We have a link party going on as well. Would you link up with us too? You could be featured next week!

-your Newest Followers

Unknown said...

This is a fantastic post!

Be Sweetly Inspired! said...

I love this so much! You are going to have to save this for your sons' girlfriends later in life!

Cassidy said...

Such a great quote! Also really loving your blog! Now following :)

Live Laugh Rowe said...

Hi Lisa!

I {love} the pencil picture!!
Thank you for participating in blog hop.
Wishing you all the best in your bloggy endeavors :)
New follower! Cheers.


Jacy said...

love, love love this!! New follower from VintageWannaBe :)
Totally on point with what you said about us, we are SO silly lol
Thanks for that!

Mrs.AOK said...

Hi I'm you 1038th GFC follower :)
Looking forward to your future posts--

Anji* said...

Great post. Love it. I couldn't agree more.

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

Oh so true! I loved this post and it really touches points that us girls forget about.

Thinking of you and hoping all is good.


PS: your boys are SO CUTE!! And we don't have pink in our house either..... said...

I think it's a day to show love regardless! Somewhere along the way it became a lover's holiday, but to me it's a day to shower those that are most special to us with love and adoration :) For us, it's not so much about gifts as it is about demonstrating and sharing our love for one another...whether that be for a child, a parent, a special friend, a lover, etc...

Why put limitations on the day?! :) <3

As for expectations, it's always more important to do more for others than the expectations we put on them to do for us.

Happy belated Valentine's!

afaf said...

I am following your blog with GFC
now follow back me with GFC too

I am also hosting a biggest giveaway ever
" 3 Rimmel London Goodie Bags Worth 400 AED (100 US $)"
3 Winner will be choosen

momto8 said...

I agree with you...and i also think all the heavy make up and wild hair styles are more for girlfriends than husbands!!
i am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.

Kelly @ Make It Sparkly Mama said...

There are lots of blogs that make me a better mother and homemaker but yours always leaves me inspired to be a better WIFE! thank you for that!